so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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