So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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