OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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