He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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