I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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