that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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