Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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