Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Crying babies in a bar. Really?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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  (708): Crying babies in a bar. Really? (708): And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden. http://tfl.nu/e52e
  Replies (10) Good night (444) Bad night (2322)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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  (513): I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/zhy5
  Replies (27) Good night (858) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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  (541): Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =] http://tfl.nu/r84d
  Replies (44) Good night (7231) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.

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  (612): a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest. http://tfl.nu/dtsn
  Replies (40) Good night (3674) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer

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  (734): wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer http://tfl.nu/eltm
  Replies (30) Good night (5641) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.

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  (204): I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis. http://tfl.nu/t0tt
  Replies (3) Good night (3235) Bad night (871)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

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  (402): yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic (1-402): i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities. http://tfl.nu/psst
  Replies (70) Good night (7864) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.

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  (267): She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point. http://tfl.nu/pwj5
  Replies (28) Good night (5025) Bad night (1661) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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  (917): He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm. http://tfl.nu/al4b
  Replies (8) Good night (6938) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.

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  (801): Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face. http://tfl.nu/qeig
  Replies (6) Good night (3786) Bad night (1034)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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  (904): After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay. http://tfl.nu/z22k
  Replies (4) Good night (2251) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

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  (406): Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king http://tfl.nu/0wfz
  Replies (4) Good night (1593) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

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  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1364) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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  (513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8
  Replies (11) Good night (1811) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza

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  (484): Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza http://tfl.nu/hmnl
  Replies (0) Good night (978) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt

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