What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
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How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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