They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize