May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the condom got lost in my hair
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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