if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
last night I used snow as a chaser
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