If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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