why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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