I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize