I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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