I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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