i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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