I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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