She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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