I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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