At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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