God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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