So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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