girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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