Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How naked do you want me to be?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize