they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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