so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize