I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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