Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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