i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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