If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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