$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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