It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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