hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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