Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
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the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i need some magic done to my vagina
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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