Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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