Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize