i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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