hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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