Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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