I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize