you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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