You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize