Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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  (917): All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus... http://tfl.nu/bdby
  Replies (8) Good night (941) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.

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  (407): in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead. http://tfl.nu/kxwf
  Replies (15) Good night (2704) Bad night (594)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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  (919): Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself. http://tfl.nu/ufys
  Replies (46) Good night (504) Bad night (3170) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy

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  (206): he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy http://tfl.nu/mh40
  Replies (11) Good night (493) Bad night (5751)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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  (713): I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima (832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985 http://tfl.nu/o133
  Replies (19) Good night (3999) Bad night (519)
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  (323): View more from California

  Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.

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  (323): Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy. http://tfl.nu/msnn
  Replies (39) Good night (5390) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower

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  (270): The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower http://tfl.nu/ihik
  Replies (17) Good night (6989) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

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  (763): I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts. http://tfl.nu/j2dd
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (2465) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..

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  (414): Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well.. http://tfl.nu/jvza
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (1901) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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  (713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi
  Replies (8) Good night (2220) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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  (256): The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving... http://tfl.nu/0z2j
  Replies (17) Good night (1510) Bad night (1571)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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  (267): I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it. http://tfl.nu/g3cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (1434) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.

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  (516): Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out. http://tfl.nu/276h
  Replies (2) Good night (681) Bad night (432)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.

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  (978): there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point. http://tfl.nu/h06c
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Amanda bynes is my spirit animal

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  (949): Amanda bynes is my spirit animal http://tfl.nu/eohy
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt

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