Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize