just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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