One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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