I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do herpes really smell.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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