I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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